Till you stop this race

The journey ends here. Or maybe it begins.

How do I sum up the four years I spent in college? How can one begin to describe a journey which seemed oh-college-then-job-sort-of-cliched yet never failed to create a new perspective with every passing year? How can one possibly able to do justice to all those memories lived, just by writing one blog post? I would dare not. Hence nothing of this is about college. Heh.

Two more months and everyone will get busy with their own jobs, own careers, own lives. Sure everyone would promise to stay in touch but let’s be honest here, we all know how that would turn out to be. You want a quick proof? Just count the number of school friends that you are in touch with now? This is just another phase which gets repeated every year, only with different people. We are growing up. We are getting ready to face the world outside the door. We are becoming one of them. We are tying our shoelaces to go out there and find ourselves in the crowd. The sea of anonymity outside our doors is waiting to swallow few thousands of us. And we are trying to sail our boats. Towards the future. We haven’t seen the future yet but will it stop us from sailing? No.

Some will survive. Rest will become particles. Particles which will ultimately reach the shore; not sooner, later. But isn’t the race all about to reach there faster? To earn more? To spend more? To become the king of our own little kingdom?

I have always been the one with a perspective different from that of the society. I always wanted to follow my passion (not that I know what’s my passion as of now). I was one of those who had a dream to dream a dream which no one has ever dreamt before. And look at where I am now? (not that any of you know where I am now but I am using this sentence as a rhetoric to convey I am doing nothing great which was quite obvious yet I explained in this Sonia Gandhi font). I am not being pessimistic, just being honest. Brutally honest. If nailing one exam or getting a good job defines your status in the society, then brother, that society is not worth living for. My search for passion hasn’t stopped yet. It has just faded away. And I don’t know why. Actually, I do. But I don’t want to admit.

When your friends are sitting for every possible job offering that is in your town and you are sitting their, silently, between the smokes of the countless cigarettes, thinking, “What am I gonna do? Definitely not this.” When everyone around you has defined the term success in their own way and are constantly rating you on their petty scales. When your family starts worrying about your decisions that you haven’t taken yet. Then, my friend, you start realising how the society has managed to win. Maybe for a brief period of time. But it has won. And it will keep winning till you stop this race. Till you stop thinking if you are reaching the shore faster or slower. Till you stop thinking if you are earning more or less. Till you start focussing only on things that matter, that you wanna pursue. So what will I do now? I don’t know. Maybe, I’ll let society keep winning. Someday, the odds will be different. The luck will be by my side. The hard work will pay off. Or maybe I will think of something in these two months and turn around my sorry life. Or maybe I will just keep lighting more cigarettes.

Till then, adios.


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