After buying WhatsApp, Facebook targets animals.
Shocked? I bet .
In an interview with The Old York Times, Mark Zuckerberg confirmed that buying WhatsApp and connecting it with Facebook has helped him in extracting life from many people. Well, by ‘many’ he meant ‘most’. And by ‘most’, we mean everyone but our politicians, who are believed to be lifeless anyway.
In his statement, Zuckerberg has also highlighted that this move will help in the invention of many more such apps to extract lives from this world and make it a peaceful and lifeless place. This is a historic step towards the building of a completely virtual world. “We want people to be engaged with their mobiles all day long. This would make their lives lossless from the real world and, of course, more profitable for us”, he added.
On asking what his next goals were, he said, “Well, nothing as such. But our team is currently working on an app that would connect animals to animals; the kind of app that will assist animals in finding their prey with the help of a text message containing the exact GPS coordinates of their potential next meal.” So, basically, his aim is to extract life from animals too. When the interviewer concluded this, he responded in an affirmative tone saying, “Well you can conclude this.”
People have different opinions regarding his recent buy of the popular messaging service. Teenagers say that this will help them in staying connected with their friends even while they are in the same room. Some even claim that this collaboration would help the world more than how much the collaboration of the White Brothers did. “I had reduced my texting to 19 hours because I felt that WhatsApp was getting kind of boring, but this move of connecting Facebook to WhatsApp will surely be helpful for me in getting back to my old habit of being online 20 hours a day. Four hours of sleep is necessary, you see”, said a 16-year-old girl, Christina.
While the hoi polloi seems excited, big celebrities, like Hrithik Roshan and many others, are rather displeased with this move. “This will allow my wife to track me down and know whom I am spending my nights with and everything”, says Roshan, “This will disrupt my married life.” Well, which ‘married life’ is he talking about, is a question we are still trying to find an answer to. All said and done, this move is truly a groundbreaking step towards shifting people from the real world to the virtual one. Let’s hope that it will help the scientists’ research in examining what Earth was like before the Big Bang, which was essentially lifeless.
First published here.