SWOT Analysis of Protesters!

During the past three years, all of us have noticed a change in India. People have started taking issues seriously. Infact, very seriously. Hunger strikes, protests, beating politicians with their shoes/lead pipes(hasn’t happened yet, keenly waiting though :P), scaring the fuck out of the Indian police, writing shit about government, getting arrested for bullshittingly lame reasons and all. All this has become a part of our day to day lives. The good thing is that people are adjusting with it, so that they do not have to adjust for anything in the near future.
During all these protests, I analysed some things about the protesters who willingly/unwillingly take part in these protests.
These protesters come from every part of India to gather at a place where the protest is going on.
Some of them paint the tricolor on their bodies, some have the pale yellow faces, some have no idea whatsoever about what’s going on and hence the blue questionmarks on their faces never fail to attract my attention.

The first class includes the protesters who are keen to join any protest no matter what the issue is. They care more about the protests than the issues. I call them freelance protesters. Arvind Kejriwal and Baba Ramdev fall in this category. Also these big crowd-catchy protesters visit the place with a huge amount of cocksuckers followers who shout whatever their leaders are shouting. To THINK before supporting them is not their cup of tea. “Tum aage badho hum tumhare sath hai” is their favourite slogan. Wo aage chahe desh ko khadde me hi kyu na le jaaye. They will follow them like sheep follow their shepherd. A lot of these were seen during the Anna movement.

Then there is the high urban class protesters. They belong to rich families and will come in cars. 1 out of 10 from this class is there to support the cause. Rest have came just because it was sunday and there was no other place to go. Deep down there is one more reason that chalo bhai sharmaji vermaji bhi gaye hai hum nahi jaayenge to society wale kya sochenge. Ironically Vermaji visits the place because they think ki sharmaji gaye hai to hum bhi jaayenge. And Sharmaji is the ‘1’ that I was talking about. So 100 people now, 100 cars, parking space occupied and how many of them are protesting? Stop counting. There aren’t many.

Then comes this category of student protesters. They will be the most enthusiastic protesters you will ever see. They will come in large groups with witty and innovative slogans in their hands. Most of them are really there to support the cause. A very few are there to analyse what is happening, more like they have visit the place just to see what’s going on. They have no interest in the cause and will pass derogatory and demotivating comments like “kuch nahi hone wala boss ye India hai ye” or “ye to ek yaha bhuka jaanboojh ke baitha hai pata nahi pure India me kitne bhooke sad rahe hai.” All of the other guys will always have this urge to slap this kind of guys but they don’t kyuki they will defend themselves by saying that we are free to have our own opinion. Yes they are free to have an opinion. Just an opinion. This kind of people will later become politicians. Also there are some groups who think that protests have become a trend in facebook. They will click photographs with candles in their hands, with the poses of salute and with funny banners. You are not looking cool, Sir. You are looking like a FOOL. Get over your facebook already.

Then we have this cheap category of cheap boys who are there to see/harass girls. I just heard of this recent incident that when people were protesting against a rape case at India Gate, a girl filed a complain against four boys who were trying to harass her. Irony is not the word here. No word can justify this cheap act by those cheapsters. So yes these behenchods protesters are the worst we can ever see in any protest.

The next elite class is of our celebrities. Be it bollywood actors/business tycoons/ spiritual gurus, all of them will come for one or two hours to support the cause. They think that this will make a difference. No sir. This won’t. Instead when the police will be busy in protecting you, the protest may turn violent due to less security. Either come for a whole day or just show your support on twitter. That’s enough. We will retweet it.

The next class belongs to the provoking protesters. These protesters often belong to some or the other political party. They will provoke the other people for violence by doing the same. Nothing can be said about this shameful class. Dudes and dudos, have some shame. Its your country too. Stop this shit. Or someday you yourself might get beaten up.

Then there is this last class of protesters. People like ME. We are there to support the cause as well as we will be observing every situation closely. Our class includes writers, photographers and painters. Just kidding. No such class exists. We visit the place once. Just ONCE.

Okay keeping aside these Protesters, our MPs are no less in creating a hullabaloo. The other day, Abhijeet MuRkhjee, son of bitch President, stated that these protests are just a pink revolution. Women who are protesting here aren’t serious and protest just for the sake of protesting. After it created a huge uproar in the media and social networking sites, Mr. Murkhjee retracted his statement. On a TV interview he said that “The things that you guys are inferring were not my intentions, but stilI I take back my statement”. But Arnab Goswami interrupted him in between and said “No no no, I don’t care about your intentions”,[actual quote] , adding “You are not allowed to take back your statement, I made that as an issue on My Newshour debate tonight. You just can’t do that.” This Arnab guy has balls of steel.

So, this is how our MPs think about what most of our protesters actually are, which is sad. Indeed. I don’t know what this country is coming to.  But in the end  instead of making a bheed for the sake of it, if all of us unite for a good cause, it will bring a CHANGE. India needs a change and we have to bring it. Take the responsibility. Be the change you want to see. Protest with passion. With enthusiasm. Or sit inside quilts and do blogging 😛

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5 thoughts on “SWOT Analysis of Protesters!

  1. The last sentence with quilt and blogging just made me laugh. Other day, I was watching the protest shot by my friend. And, you are completely right. I saw bunch of kids who were on the phone. And, others who looked like they were in need of massive sugar overload because they looked so bored. There were some girls with posters who you can tell were very passionate and enthusiastic. And, there were guys who were equally enthusiastic. Overall, I found the entire crowd to be very scattered and lost. It lacked unity, which was needed in this protest. Because this is a fight not just about how the Indian society treats women or the rape incidents, it is mainly about how our system and our misogynistic culture has failed us.

    Merry Christmas!


    • Haha. I am one lazy guy. Glad that it made you laugh.

      Yes, I totally support you. Things you saw were precisely the same happening there. I went there at night, and I also observed such things. Apart from passion, brief knowledge about the issue and sincerity, these two are kinda compulsion if you truly want to protest. We should not take things lightly.

      Again writing this comment rajai me baith ke. Sometimes I just redefine irony 😀

      Merry Christmas to you too 🙂


  2. Enjoyed reading it. Through the ages, we have been nothing but a herd of sheep. We always follow the ‘in-thing’, which in this case is protesting. I know many who went for the Lok Pal bill protest and when I asked them what the bill is, all vague answers.


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