The last entry in the diary!

Dear diary.
Today was a hard day. Very hard. I felt so
lonely. Half of the day I kept listening to this
song, ‘Lonely’ by Akon. He is such a terrible
singer. Maybe because he is black. No. I should
not say this. This is racism. Racism is a crime.
And crime is for black people. So I stopped
listening to him. Then I started listening
‘Lonely day’ by system of a down. It’s a metal
band. Speed metal. I like speed metal. I like
metal. Except gold. Girls like gold. I am a boy.
So. Yes. Today was a bad day. Indeed. But I
won’t complain. I am not complaining. I have
decided not to complain ever. Maybe it is not
good for me. But fuck it. People should not
complain. Complaining is for those who don’t
know that people don’t give a fuck at their
complains. Fortunately, I learned this today.
Thank you Lord Shiva. I like Lord Shiva. He is
also a loner. Like me. Also he has superpowers.
Like Tony Starc. I like that guy too. He is so
intelligent and he is Ironman. But the thing I
like the most about him is that he is
straightforward. Despite all the complexities,
he is simple. He does what he feels good. He says
what he wants to. I also want to be like him.
Today I realized that in the process of being
nice to everyone, I have actually forgotten how I
used to feel in those situations. This feeling of
not feeling what you feel sucks. Sucks. I also
learned that being nice won’t do any good. It
never did. I was such a jerk. Thank god I
realized it. Mahatma Gandhi once quoted that
be yourself because being nice sucks. No. I
think he didn’t quote that. Because the old man
never used bad words. But I saw an update
today saying this. Whatever. I feel it is so
true. Instead of being nice, people should try
being themselves. Unless you are the person
who mimics. I don’t know what do we call that
Be yourself. Because everyone else is taken. I
have read this quote many times. But today
was the first time I felt it. We should not mind
other people’s business. Unless you are a CA or
you yourself don’t have any. Like that girl
whom I was staring at the metro station told me, we
should mind our own business. We should mind
our own mind. Because that is the only thing
which will accompany us on our deathbed. No
one else will. I have also learned that there is
no such thing called friends or best friends. In
my definition friends are the ones to whom you
don’t hesitate to call whenever you are sad. I
don’t have any such. Actually, very few, lucky
ones have friends. I am not lucky. But I want
to live. I don’t wanna die with this feeling. So
I am writing this. Since you are the only one
who listen to me without interrupting. So I am
telling you all this. Tell me what should I do.
Should I stop giving fucks to anything and
everything. Or should I carry on like this.
Because it hurts very much when people
misunderstand you even when you are trying
really hard to be nice with them, even when
you are thinking what is right for them. Tell
me. Before this poison poisons my blood I
should probably take antacids. Because I want
to live now. For myself. For my lost ones.
Be right back diary..
and don’t feel bad about my grammar at some
places. If I were sane I’d have corrected.

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6 thoughts on “The last entry in the diary!

  1. Hi!!!!
    I gues you can tell from my many exclamanation marks that I am a girl. But, that’s not the point.
    Somehow, somewhere, for whatever random reasons, I stumbled on your blog and I wasn’t even trying. I still don’t remember how I stumbled and found my way here. The title of your blog just grabbed my attention and then, I read that little piece about yourself, which I found very captivating. Then, later I found myself staying up late at night reading everything that you have posted on your blog. And, when I say late, I mean very late like 5am late. I found each story more interesting than the other. I think you are an amazing storyteller and a writer. I think I have now managed to finish all your posts except for the ones that are protected.
    Moving on, thanks for sharing all your little journey and making me stay up late at night. They were worth it and I look forward to reading more of your posts. I can tell that your day isn’t going that great from your this post, so I hope my long comments will eat your brain out and eventually, make you feel better. If it helps, I have been through what you are going through or more like still going through what you are going through. Okay, it’s late at night or should I say very early morning and I don’t know what I am saying. But, I hear you. I also don’t feel too lucky on several occasions and feel that I am stuck and frozen at one place while the world and the people around continues to move on. Like you, I also don’t have any friends to call when I am sad or plain depressed. In fact, I have very little friends. I am not very good at keeping friends. Okay, how weird is that? Now, I am just blabbing about myself. Any how, I wish I could help you how to deal with this. If I knew, I would have used it long time ago myself. I hope. I don’t know what I hope. Just quiet down the devil and think good thoughts.

    A chaddi fan/reader

    Girl from la la land


    • Dear Girl from la la land,
      Thank you so much for the appreciation. Readers like you are the real source of motivation for us. Yes indeed I was a bit sad that day. But now its all okay and I hope everything is okay with you too. Afterall no matter what, we have to move on. And Life goes on..
      Thank you so much again. I will update my blog soon. Till the time join my facebook page (Facebook is a big platform nowadays)


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