Corner seat obsession!


‘Bhaiyya corner ki seat nahi hai kya! Wallside?’
‘kone ki de be’
‘Bhai me khidki wale corner me baithunga’
‘accha, train me ja raha hai? Kaunsi seat hai? Neeche ki hai na? Corner tabhi milegi!’
‘Beta, side wali de dena, aasmaan se neeche nahi dekha kabhi plane se’
taaau upar jaane ke din hai aur tu neeche dekhega!

This is the common scenario in India.
From the times when we were a toddler to the time when we will get old, no matter what situation/season/vehicle/age/sex we are in, we are taught to take the corner seat.

Seeing this obsession of Indians about corner seats, congress supremo- Sonia Gandhi has decided to reserve a quota for this.
A quota of corner seats. This quota will be called quo-rner seats.
Under this quota, a person will be allowed to book a corner seat if and only if he has any corruption record or any FIR filed against him/her. In some special cases, under some laws, ‘in laws’ of big corporate families or political parties will be benefited from this upcoming policy.

As soon as she proposed this policy, political leaders of various oppositions started giving their opinions.

Mayawati demanded a 19% quota of dalits in this quota. Quota in Quota. ‘Quo-nception’ much. Being asked about the reason, she said ‘Since everyone says, Dalits are the most cornered society of India, so why aren’t they getting ‘corner’ed in this policy’. One of our reporter interrupted her by asking that dalits are also the most backward class so will she now demand quota for last seats also?
She replied ‘ true. I have always been saying that since they are backward they should be provided back row corner seats in every movie’ and laughed.
Wonder if the laugh was sarcastic or evil.

On the other hand Mamta Banarjee asked the government to roll back this policy. She said ‘there should be equality. India is a secular nation. Every seat should be equally distributed between Bongs. Otherwise we will protest against this. We will not tolerate this behaviour. WE WANT ROLL BACK. Otherwise we will leave UPA. Oh wait.’

Frustrated Digvijay singh demanded to ban this Banarjee. On counter Didi proposed to celebrate dig vijay dashmi on his birthday.

BJP spokesperson Shahnawaz Hussain said ‘congress is playing it wrong. As always.’
On asking if he even knew what the issue is about, he replied ‘ whatever the issue is , congress always play wrong’.
Seeing on how the corner seat issue was getting ‘side’lined, an IIT Delhi student said ‘if this can get girls into our college then try this man!! I am in.’

For a common man’s review, we asked an Employee of Infosys if this policy can help India at all. He replied ”Sir, WE aren’t the ones who can or will get benefited by ANY of the government’s policy. It’s the Mallyas , Jaypees and Wadras who get any benefit. And by the way,this policy has been their since 2005. In UPA’s rule, common man is getting cornered every passing day, every passing session of parliament, every passing year! nothing new. And regarding this policy, I’ll say that this is the most outrageous policy I have ever seen. Now an honest man is deprived of corner seat too.” On asking what he was giving to that thulla  back there and where is his helmet, the guy ran away! Indians, I tell you.

So it seems like the corner seat policy is also getting cornered like the issues of ward-ra malfunction, IPL malauction, and many others. But afterall this is India, we just need news. Fresh news. Daily. Whoever provides it. Arnab or Kejrival. We don’t care. We just need to get the case registered in the court. After that, as we all know, the govt will take care of the rest.

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